Let's talk about your green flags...
And other Monday Musings. Plus, two shows I can't get enough of, and what I'm eyeing, buying, and trying this week.
What’s on deck this week:
Monday Musings: Let’s talk about your green flags! And mine!
Currently Consuming: A weekly roundup of what I’m watching, reading, and yes, judging. Pop culture with substance!
Eyeing, Buying, and Trying: Styles and sales I refuse to gatekeep.
Money Talks: [paid subscribers only] a weekly personal finance take, tidbit, or tip
Weekly Intentions: [paid subscribers only] sharing what I’m working on this week, and making space for you to share your intentions as well :)
Let’s talk Green Flags
We’re all so fluent in our own red flags. I could list mine for you alphabetically, cross-referenced, with footnotes, for example.
Ask me to name something good about myself? I find that much harder.
It’s not because I’m incapable of acknowledging my best traits. I know I’m loyal, I’m thoughtful, I’m a hard worker, and I’m generous. But as humans we’re wired to weight the bad higher than the good. After all, it’s how we learn lessons about danger and how to stay alive.
Overweighting the bad is, on a very fundamental level, a primal and biological trait. It’s necessary for us as humans, yet it can simultaneously allow us to skim over what’s good about ourselves in favor of what we should be optimizing instead.
This concept of ignoring my own green flags intrigued me so much that I brought it up with a friend over the weekend. I wanted to see if I was alone in feeling this way, so I said “Quick, rattle off your green flags.” And she faltered a bit. Asked me to clarify. Made a joke, much like the jab I took at myself just a few paragraphs ago.
Isn’t that a shame?
If you’re reading along, nodding your head and feeling as if you struggle to claim what’s good about you, let me lob some ideas into the room.
Green flags you might not be acknowledging in yourself:
Do you apologize when you’re wrong? If so, green flag! Apologizing when you’re wrong is a trait that sounds small until you realize how many grown adults simply cannot do it.
Do you check in on the people you love, even when your own life is chaotic is stressful? Check, check! That means you’d rather carry a little extra than let someone feel forgotten, and that’s a green flag indeed.
Are you at times plagued with the question: “Am I good a person?” Green flag, granted. Think about it: the worst person you know has never verbally expressed concern about whether or not they’re a good person. So even caring to ask yourself this question in the first place is a sign that you’re on the right track.
Would your loved ones describe you as kind? GREEN FLAG! Life gives us all a thousand reasons not to be kind. Illness. Tragedy. Heartbreak. Grief. The list goes on. But if you can stay soft in a world that keeps handing you excuses to harden, you’re not only a walking green flag—but you’re pretty dang brave, too.
Do you keep trying? Even when you fail? Ding ding ding! Here’s your green flag! I’m a big believer that we should all be bold enough to keep trying, even when that feels like we’re continuing to fail. It never works, until it does. And when it does, it’ll all be worth it. Perseverance and humility are both wonderful traits.
I guess the moral of this musing is that self-auditing can be an effective tool for personal growth. It’s healthy to look in the mirror and ask ourselves how we can do better. It’s empowering to see something we don’t like about the way we’re showing up in life and subsequently take action to change it. But in the process of auditing ourselves, let’s call out the good a little more, shall we?
Up for a challenge?
The next time you’re cataloguing everything wrong with you—and you will, because it’s clear we all do—just know there’s a whole list running the other way too. So when it happens, stop and write a list of your green flags. In your journal. In the notes app of your phone. On the napkin your lemonade is resting on. Just do it. Because, anecdotally speaking, every person I’ve known to be a walking red flag has one trait in common: pure, unabashed pride in being loud and wrong.
So maybe you should try being loud and right. Or, at the very least, quiet and sure that you’re on the right track? ;)
Currently Consuming
I don’t have nearly enough time to watch all the shows that have my interest, but here are two I can’t stop watching right now:
McBee Dynasty
This show is a train wreck. A train wreck, I tell ya! And while I know some storylines on shows are produced for the sake of a cohesive and compelling story arc, I also know that you can’t manufacture this level of chaos and dysfunction! Boy oh boy do I have some takes on the McBee family, and those takes may or may not be coming to a Substack near you. ;)
In the meantime, if you love pop culture and discussing it through a psychological or sociological lens, have you checked out my essay on the ongoing mess with Amanda Batula and West Wilson?
Amanda Batula knows exactly what she's doing
Just when it seemed as if talk of Amanda Batula and West Wilson’s sordid affair had died down, the infamous Bravo couple is back in the news again. Two recent events spurred the new wave of West and Amanda headlines: Bravo dropped the trailer for the In the City reunion, and West posted a TikTok fueling rumors that Amanda Batula is pregnant.
Big Brother
I feel like Big Brother is one of those niche reality competition shows. Not by audience size, per se, as it’s on a massive network. But I mean in the sense of its campiness, the loyal fan base of “feedsters,” and the fact that millions of people watch it but a much smaller subset of viewers really love the camp element of it all? Even I, as someone who has watched Big Brother on and off since high school, have at times eye-rolled at how cheesy the show is. But this summer I’m reveling in the cheesiness of the set, and challenges, and framework of the show itself. And I’ve been loving passively watching the feeds!
When I have some more time, I’d love to watch the new Dancing With The Stars show where they’re hunting for a new pro. If you’ve been watching it and have thoughts on whether I should watch it or skip it, let me know!
Eyeing, Buying, and Trying
~ I’m loving Free People’s tops right now. This one-shoulder top and this applique halter are in my cart right now.
~ I’ve heard amazing things about the Tower28 Blur + Set powder. Since I’ve been so disappointed with many of the setting sprays I’ve tried lately, I’m excited to give this product a try.
~ I love my New Balance 530s; I have them in the pink colorway and think they’re so fun! I’m eyeing these 9060 sneakers in Rich Oaktimber Wolf. I think they’d be a fun addition to my closet for fall, plus I’ve been shocked at just how comfy New Balances are!
~ Recently I tried my hand at jewelry making and was shocked at how hard it is! The loops and closures are difficult for me. I have a new appreciation for the jewelry I own, and I’m tempted to buy this fun necklace as I now realize just how hard it is to make on my own!
~ I’m not sure I can name a single Guns N’ Roses song, but I know I’m loving this Alice & Olivia Guns N’ Roses tee! I mean, the embellished collar?? Are you kidding me??
~ I love things that smell “clean.” (Anyone else always a sucker for a linen-scented candle??) At any rate, this NOYZ fragrance is called Rinse Cycle, and it’s toted as a scent that smells like stepping out of an everything shower. I can’t wait to smell it for myself!
~ I’m a sucker for Anthropologie’s novelty dishes, so is it any surprise I ordered these Tres Bien bowls? Probably not, haha. I think they’ll be perfect for the homemade ice cream we’ve been making with our Ninja Creami.
~ I love lifting heavy but hate when my muscles feel equally heavy. I’m excited to try these H2Tab bath tablets to see if my muscles feel recovered more quickly after intense workouts and heavy lifts.
~ These cutie jeans are on clearance at Old Navy. Sizes are selling fast, which makes sense. I can’t get over how nice these are, and for just $11!
Money Talks
If you follow me on Instagram you already know that I love personal finance. I even dabbled in posting personal finance content for a while, until I realized that the kind of content I most wanted to create isn’t the content that the algorithm currently favors. The algorithm likes big, flashy numbers about debt payoff goals or net worth milestones. I absolutely think that content has a place, and I love when it can help motivate people and get them started on their own path to financial wellness.
But as someone who fell down the FIRE rabbit hole and is now trying to strike more of a balance, I wish we’d make more space for nuanced conversations about personal finance and financial literacy. Because I don’t think you should max out your credit card to finance a Disney trip you can’t afford. But I’ve also learned, from personal experience, that racing to hit financial milestones can be its own sort of consuming.
At times it feels like I became too financially literate. Or at least too consumed with it. That’s exactly what I explore in an essay I wrote about five years chasing FIRE. Through my pursuit of FIRE I’ve learned so much about myself and what I actually want out of life. I’m excited to share a bit more of that here with you.
My intention for this week:
I have two intentions to share with y’all this week!
I want to hit at least 10,000 steps every day this week! I started to slack on my step goal the past two weeks, so it’s time to get back at it!
I want to come up with a new series to post on Instagram!! I’ve been having a lot of fun making content over the past few months, but I’d love to have a signature series that I make on repeat.
What are your goals or intentions for this week? I’d love to know.
In the meantime, have a great rest of your day :)
